What do you and your S.O. have 'in common'?

[screamcheese]

So, what do you have in common with your Significant Other (spouse, partner, bf, gf, etc.)?

Do you think it's important to have a lot in common with your S.O.? Why or why not?

What if your S.O. was not a horror fan and you were (or vice versa)?

And... so we don't forget the single bunch... is it a deal breaker for you if the person you are dating or considering dating doesn't have a lot of things in common?

[missyfoo]

It all depends on what it is that you don't have in common. If it's just interests, then that's stuff you can probably work through without it being a deal breaker. If it's things that are more along the lines of morals, religion, etc, then it's stuff that might be a deal breaker. I wouldn't necessarily have to have someone who likes horror, but I would need them to not stand in my way of going to things like SF, take away from my enjoyment of horror movies, etc. If they respect our differences, then that's cool. I've had people with different interests than me and I've done things that they are interested in just to try and learn more about the things that are important to them. In the process I've been exposed to things I would have never learned about otherwise and it has all been for the better.

But there are things that are truly deal breakers. Example, I went on a couple of dates with a guy who was nice and I was attracted to but it never went any farther because I couldn't get over the fact that he loved to kill things. Whether it was shooting raccoons in the traps at work or killing gators to sell the meat to killing a rabbit for dinner. I would ask him why he wouldn't just release the raccoons that were in the trap at a location removed from the mango farm where he works. He liked shooting them better. I couldn't deal with that. I love animals too much and I need someone who has respect for their lives. Deal breaker.

[smallmediumatlrg]

Kash and I come from VERY different backgrounds. I am from a small, rural town in NW FL, and he is from the second or third largest city in the world, Tehran. He hasn't been in the US very long, and I was able to introduce him to a lot of things I like, and he has been very open to all of it and ended up enjoying things like Music, Movies, Books etc, but has his own tastes as well. His background and culture is very proper and polite, while my country upbringing is quite a bit more relaxed. He has learned to cuss and belch with the best of them, sadly, LOL.

We feel similarly on Religion and Politics, so that helps. We are also slightly flexible on some issues, which helps if he feels one way and I feel another.

A deal breaker for me would be if he decided to become active in a cause or hobby that I did not approve of. He has been supportive of me in my dance classes and I have supported him in his numerous hobbies. Nothing controversial though.

[tlr1k98]

Renee and I have nothing in common, except she a slight interest in horror/science fiction movies(thanks to me). We are absolute opposites on everything else....literally. Her family has even said that they have never seen two people so opposite.

[tlr1k]

^^^^^
That was me, I forgot to sign in.

[mrsshreck]

Dec 7, 2008 18:34:27 GMT -5 screamcheese said:

So, what do you have in common with your Significant Other (spouse, partner, bf, gf, etc.)?

We are near in recorded age. We both lean to the left politically, We are both former "death rockers" -- in other words, the first time someone called either of us "Goth" we had to say, "What's that mean?" We both saw David Bowie on SNL with Klaus Nomi singing backup and it changed each of our lives immediately and without possibility of return to our former existences. We both saw The Hunger and were turned in a minute. We are both writers, artists and musicians. We remember when the Beatles were a reality, not a concept. We are both adventurous epicures. We love rollercoasters. We both understand that the French, the Chinese or the Indians did it first. We both love champagne. We like a buzz. We are experienced. We are both gypsies at heart, always ready to travel. We like to eavesdrop and people watch. We have two children together.

The list goes on...

Dec 7, 2008 18:34:27 GMT -5 screamcheese said:

Do you think it's important to have a lot in common with your S.O.?

"A lot" is a general term, but I certainly think the more you have in common the better. "In common" is also a general term. We both like horror, but I love the psychological while Mr. is crazy for B-gore.

I think that it is good when the things you have "in common" are complimentary. I've seen lots of gore I'd have otherwise missed, for example, which has broadened my knowledge of the horror genre as a whole.

Dec 7, 2008 18:34:27 GMT -5 screamcheese said:

Why or why not?

Mr. Shreck is my best friend. Regardless of anything else (sexual attraction, for example), I would enjoy his company because he has an interesting mind that is interested in things I am interested in. He would be fun to party with under any circumstance.

Why wouldn't having things in common be important? Having fun together is, for me, the primary reason for being in a relationship of any sort. If it's not fun and intellectually engaging, I'd move along. It's unlikely that I'd be having fun if Mr.'s likes/dislikes/politics/aesthetics were challenging to mine at every turn. I definitely don't want someone who agrees with me all the time. Have you ever seen us go cage-match? It's raw. But I want someone who generally enjoys what I enjoy so that we can have that joy together. I don't want a situation of constant "I did that because you wanted now you do this for me."

It was so much more fun to see Bauhaus on the first reunion tour together and both so wound up we couldn't spit.

Dec 7, 2008 18:34:27 GMT -5 screamcheese said:

if your S.O. was not a horror fan and you were (or vice versa)?

I don't think it would work for me at all.

[mochedda]

We share the same body since I am a part narcissist and part schizophrenic (and neither one of us can spell)